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chshy1234銀蟲(chóng) (小有名氣)
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[求助]
急，求雅思作文復(fù)議分析！！
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為申請(qǐng)國(guó)外讀博，已經(jīng)參加3次雅思考試了，作文都是5.5，很受打擊。由于學(xué)校要求的雅思成績(jī)是聽(tīng)說(shuō)讀寫(xiě)每門(mén)都至少6分，總分6.5，可是現(xiàn)在覺(jué)得作文6分對(duì)我來(lái)說(shuō)是個(gè)很大的坎難以逾越。最近的一次是9.3 聽(tīng)說(shuō)讀寫(xiě) 7.5 6.5 6.5 5.5，又一次倒在作文上了。這是我的9.3雅思大作文（根據(jù)回憶寫(xiě)的，應(yīng)該基本差不多），小作文考的是柱狀圖，感覺(jué)寫(xiě)的還行，可是這次作文依然是5.5。打算復(fù)議，請(qǐng)大家?guī)兔纯催@樣的作文該不該復(fù)議呢？？題目：The qualities that a person needs to become truly successful cannot be learned at university or in a similar educational institution. To what extent do you agree or disagree? 我的作文： The issue of whether the qualities that the public need to succeed can be acquired at university has sparked off an intense debate. A certain proportion of the public maintain that these qualities cannot be learned in educational institution. Two convincing evidence will be provided to justify why I oppose this viewpoint. It is widely accepted that cooperation and team working skills can be cultivated at colleges. For example, there are a host of studying activities such as group discussions in which students can learn to cooperate with other students, which is quite essential to their future career in society. Besides, not only university includes schoolwork, it also offer a variety of outdoor activities .A case in point is basketball game, there is a real sense of team working, which encourages players to strive and win those matches. There is no denying that university plays a vital role in fostering necessary qualities. Admittedly, the important role of society in promoting a person’ well-rounded development cannot be ignored. For instance, the public may encounter some practical problems that they do not know when they are studying at universities, therefore they need their leaders’ guidance to tackle those difficult problems. However, university can provide their students with opportunities to work in their future factories for a period in their learning processes. Only in this way, students can successfully face up to their future jobs after their graduation. To conclude, university play a key role in training a person’s qualities. Nevertheless, I am convinced that university should equip their students with practical opportunities to promote their well-rounded development. |
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gexinhmily
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2樓2011-09-22 18:22:18
aeon8868
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【答案】應(yīng)助回帖
chshy1234(金幣+3): 2011-10-14 19:41:26
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我同樣作文5.5，也是差半分，感覺(jué)很不爽。復(fù)議也沒(méi)把握。。 從用詞和句型上看樓主的作文應(yīng)該是下功夫準(zhǔn)備過(guò)的，我的作文考前沒(méi)好好準(zhǔn)備。抱著求教的態(tài)度提一下我的看法，和樓主共同進(jìn)步共同討論： 我沒(méi)看明白樓主說(shuō)的Two convincing evidence ，第一個(gè)是It is widely accepted that cooperation and team working skills can be cultivated at colleges；第二個(gè)是這個(gè)嗎？:Besides, not only university includes schoolwork, it also offer a variety of outdoor activities. 如果這兩個(gè)是主要的論據(jù)，是否應(yīng)該多寫(xiě)一些，占到文章主體呢。后面的Admittedly一段是個(gè)補(bǔ)充，是否可以精簡(jiǎn)一下。。 整篇文章的結(jié)構(gòu)我覺(jué)得不太清晰。。也許是俺沒(méi)跟上樓主的思路。請(qǐng)樓主解釋一下。 作文菜鳥(niǎo)飄過(guò)。。。。 作文貌似是中國(guó)孩子們的集體硬傷啊，5.5分作文受限的大有人在啊。我不太指望復(fù)議了，對(duì)自己的作文水平確實(shí)沒(méi)啥自信。。咋能寫(xiě)好雅思作文呢。。。 |
3樓2011-10-02 09:45:30
zxj0823
新蟲(chóng) (初入文壇)
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4樓2012-03-20 19:18:38
5樓2012-05-28 10:23:43
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