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zhangwen3059木蟲 (正式寫手)
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[求助]
請英語達人批改作文（考研八股文，）
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目前正在準英語模板，自己寫了一篇，模仿了不少句式，但不知道自己還有哪些地方 存在毛病，往英語達人，批點，建議。是去年考研的一篇看圖作文。 In spite of ‘endless talk of environment protection’,our world of nature is sill suffering pollutions，As we can see from the picture，while on a exciting tour with her boyfriend，a ‘beautiful’ girl pours a great number of things-such as fish-bones，banana peel and empty beer bottes，together with other junk-into a lake. Without being conscious that she is changing a ‘beautiful’ lake into a ‘dirty’ one，she enjoys herself thoroughly during the especially pleasant journey. Many people find such distasteful movements which are harmful to environment we live totally unacceptable. Yet in real life，through scientists in one wave after another try to awaken us to the growing threat of environmental degradation,most of us do little to improve the already overburdened nature resource.Moreover,our society now attaches so much emphasis on economic growth that few attentions are paid to the environment protection . Meanwhile,poor managements are set up for the protection of nature resource. The ecological system is ruining，and the development of economic is not far behind . To serve as responsible stewards of the planet,we must press forward on strengthening the average man’s awareness of environment protection.But awareness alone is inadequate,action should be followed. There is no doubt that if we could look after our earth as a baby,a wonderful nature full of fresh air,clean water would be presented in a few years. [ Last edited by zhangwen3059 on 2011-11-17 at 18:42 ] |
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9樓2011-11-18 18:35:48
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2樓2011-11-17 19:53:38
古可ぷ
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3樓2011-11-17 19:55:17
【答案】應(yīng)助回帖
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ailing2023(金幣+1): 感謝應(yīng)助\(^o^)/~ 2011-11-17 21:36:46
zhangwen3059(金幣+1): 我想把3）中movemens改成behaviors,是否會好點？ 2011-11-18 18:00:30
ailing2023(金幣+1): 感謝應(yīng)助\(^o^)/~ 2011-11-17 21:36:46
zhangwen3059(金幣+1): 我想把3）中movemens改成behaviors,是否會好點？ 2011-11-18 18:00:30
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1)首先，瓶子是bottle不是botte 2)a ‘beautiful’ girl pours a great number of things-such as fish-bones，banana peel and empty beer bottes，together with other junk-into a lake我覺得可以改為a ‘beautiful’ girl is pouring a great deal of rubbish into a lake,such as fish-bones,banana peel,empty beer bottles and so on. 3)Many people find such distasteful movements which are harmful to the environment we live in totally is unacceptable. |
4樓2011-11-17 21:16:47
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