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本帖產(chǎn)生 1 個翻譯EPI ，點擊這里進行查看

wust67

金蟲 (著名寫手)

翻譯EPI: 54
應(yīng)助: 1 (幼兒園)
貴賓: 0.005
金幣: 921.3
散金: 175
紅花: 7
帖子: 1627
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蟲號: 1009964
注冊: 2010-05-02
專業(yè): 高分子合成化學

[求助] 摘要潤色

我國是焦化生產(chǎn)大國，每年約有2.85億噸焦化廢水外排，環(huán)境危害觸目驚心。焦化廢水的低成本高效治理是一個世界性的難題。目前，國內(nèi)焦化廠廢水需經(jīng)三級處理才能達標。三級處理的方法主要有吸附法、氧化法、膜分離法、混凝沉淀法等。其中，混凝沉降法是目前應(yīng)用較廣泛、較經(jīng)濟、較高效的水處理技術(shù)。聚丙烯酰胺系列的有機絮凝劑主打產(chǎn)品，絮凝效果良好，然而價格卻讓人望而卻步。淀粉是一種環(huán)境友好、資源豐富的可再生資源，同時也是一種用途廣泛的化工原料，在造紙、紡織、食品加工及膠黏劑生產(chǎn)等行業(yè)的低廉應(yīng)用實屬可惜。利用淀粉開發(fā)高附加值的綠色化工材料是目前和未來主要的發(fā)展方向之一。天然高聚物基絮凝劑被稱為“21世紀的綠色絮凝劑”，或可望為焦化廢水的處理開辟一條綠色之道。本文旨在針對焦化廢水的特點，為之研發(fā)一種專屬性的絮凝劑。
China is a large country of coking production in the world. However, about 2.85 tons of coking wastewater discharge per annum, which brings about shocking environmental pollution. It is a worldwide problem to treat coking wastewater with low-cost and high efficient. At present, the domestic coking wastewater must be treated by tertiary treatment in order to meet the standards for emission or reuse. Tertiary treatment methods include adsorption, oxidation, membrane separation, coagulation, and etc.. Coagulation is a widely-used, economic and efficient water treatment technology among them. The flagship products–polyacrylamide series of organic flocculants, their effects are favourable. However, the prices are prohibitive. Starch is an environmental friendly, rich and renewable resource. It is also a widely-used industrial chemical. In many industries, such as paper making, textile manufacturing, food processing and adhesive producting, starch is a pity found to be of cheap applications. Using starch to develop high- value-added green chemical materials is one of the main directions of the current and future research. Natural polymer-based flocculants have been acclaimed as "Green flocculants of the 21st century". They are expected to open a green way for coking wastewater treatment. According to the characteristics of coking wastewater, "tailor makes" a kind of specific flocculant is the key of this study.

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1樓 2012-06-03 08:30:07

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sosako

金蟲 (著名寫手)

翻譯EPI: 21
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注冊: 2009-09-24
性別: GG
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【答案】應(yīng)助回帖

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sltmac: 金幣+2 2012-06-04 09:20:05
sltmac: 金幣+25 2012-06-24 10:03:04
sltmac: 翻譯EPI+1 2012-06-24 10:03:13

China is a large country of coking production all over （1）the world. However, about 2.85 tons of coking wastewater was discharged（2） per annum, which has brought about（3） the shocking environmental pollution. It is a worldwide problem of （4）treating coking wastewater with low-cost and high efficient. At present, the domestic coking wastewater must be treated by the（5） tertiary treatment in order to meet the standards for emission or reuse. The tertiary treatment（5） methods include adsorption, oxidation, membrane separation, coagulation, and so on.Of them（6），coagulation is a widely-used, economic and efficient water treatment technology The flagship products–polyacrylamide series of organic flocculants have favourable effects（7）whereas （8）their prices are unable to afford（9）.Starch is an environmental-friendly（10）, rich and renewable resource,which（11） is also a widely-used industrial chemical. Starch has been used（12） in many industries, such as paper making, textile manufacturing, food processing and adhesive producting.It is a pity（13） that starch is appllied as a cheap chemical material（14）. Using starch to develop high- value-added green chemical materials is one of the main directions of the current and future researches. Natural polymer-based flocculants have been acclaimed as "Green flocculants of the 21st century". They are expected to open a green way for coking wastewater treatment. According to the characteristics of coking wastewater, this study is aimed to find out a kind of specific flocculant（15）.
總體來說，這篇文章翻譯的不錯，但是還是有點小小的問題。
（1）in用慣用介詞詞組 all over 代替，較習慣；
（2）應(yīng)使用被動語態(tài)was discharged；
（3）已造成污染，應(yīng)該現(xiàn)在用完成時has brought about ；
（4）problem后應(yīng)用of treating ，不用不定式to treat修飾，用不定式，表示其賓語應(yīng)為problem，不合邏輯；
（5）The tertiary treatment 是專有名詞，所以加了定冠詞the；
（6）句首加Of them較貼切，能呼應(yīng)前面的them指代內(nèi)容；
（7）這是個明顯的錯誤，前面是名詞短語，根本不是句子，所以為了組合成一個句子，后加了have favourable effects，這樣就完整了；
（8）這句太短，所以和前句連為一句，用轉(zhuǎn)折連詞whereas；
（9）這句意思太牽強，一般讀者看不懂，使用their prices are unable to afford貼切，承受不起價格；
（10）environmental-friendly組合是要嘛加“-”，要嘛environmentally friendly，只能副詞修飾形容詞或副詞，不能形容詞修飾；
（11）這句太短，建議用不定定語從句which；
（12）這句話意思不太完善，分2個句子翻譯較貼切；
（13）a pity 一般后跟that從句，用過去分詞，既累贅也不符合英語習慣用語；
（14）翻譯“作為廉價化工材料使用”較貼切；
（15）“this study is aimed to”中的“ is aimed to”文獻非常慣用，“旨在”的意思。
注：其中（2）、（4）、（7）、（9）、（10）、（13）是翻譯問題的硬傷，較明顯，須修改，其他也可以不改。
希望對你有用處，謝謝支持！�。�

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2樓2012-06-04 00:17:55