Writing in the Sciences之一：Cut unnecessary words and phrases

各位蟲友，大家好！這是專業(yè)英語版推出的新活動——Writing in the Sciences。每周推出一期。所有資料都來自斯坦福大學論文寫作指導(dǎo)公開課。每期活動都是對課程中一個單元內(nèi)容的精華提要，并給出對應(yīng)的練習。歡迎大家收聽哦~~~

Steps to becoming a better writer:
1. Read, pay attention, and imitate.
2. Write in a journal.
3. Let go of “academic” writing habits (deprogramming step!)
4. Talk about your research before trying to write about it.
5. Write to engage your readers—try not to bore them!
6. Stop waiting for “inspiration.”
7. Accept that writing is hard for everyone.
8. Revise. Nobody gets it perfect on the first try.
9. Learn how to cut ruthlessly. Never become too attached to your words.
10. Find a good editor!
11. Take risks.

活動說明：每期活動都會帶給大家一些專業(yè)英語寫作方面的建議。最后列出與本期內(nèi)容相關(guān)的若干專業(yè)英語句子，請各位蟲友依據(jù)每個單元的要求對句子進行修改，將結(jié)果跟帖給出~LZ會根據(jù)參考答案為大家評分，給予BB獎勵~歡迎大家積極參加~~

Unit 1. Cut unnecessary words and phrases

本單元中，強調(diào)了科技文寫作追求的一個目標：readable，這里它給出了一些冗長結(jié)構(gòu)的表述，并給出了參考建議。

1. Dead weight words and phrases
e.g. As it is well known
As it has been shown
It can be regarded that
It should be emphasized that
2. Empty words and phrases
e.g. basic tenets of
methodologic
important
3. Long words or phrases that could be short
e.g. muscular and cardiorespiratory performance
4. Unnecessary jargon and acronyms
e.g. muscular and cardiorespiratory performance
Gliomagenesis
miR （microRNA）
5. Repetitive words or phrases
e.g.studies/examples
illustrate/demonstrate
challenges/difficulties
successful solutions
6. Adverbs
very, really, quite, basically, generally, etc.
7.A few other small tricks
① Eliminate negatives
②Eliminate superfluous uses of “there are/there is”
③Omit needless prepositions

例1：This paper provides a review of the basic tenets of cancer biology study design, using as ex amples studies that illustrate the methodologic challenges or that demonstrate successful solutions to the difficulties inherent in biological research.”
修改：This paper reviews cancer biology study design, using examples that illustrate specific challenges and solutions.

例二：As it is well known, increased athletic activity has been related to a profile of lower cardiovascular risk, lower blood pressure levels, and improved muscular and cardio-respiratory performance.
修改：Increased athletic activity is associated with lower cardiovascular risk, lower blood pressure, and improved fitness.

例三：“The experimental demonstration is the first of its kind and is a proof of principle for the concept of laser driven particle acceleration in a structure loaded vacuum.”
修改：The experiment provides the first proof of principle of laser-driven particle acceleration in a structure-loaded vacuum.

下面是練習，期待蟲子們的參加~

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3.As we can see from Figure 2, if the return kinetic energy is less than 3.2 Up , there will be two electron trajectories associated with this kinetic energy.