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hjd8886

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[求助] 求大神們修改托福作文啊

**Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The environmental issue is too complex to be handled by the individual.
My:
Nowadays,as the quick development of the economic,there are also increasing environmetal problems.More and more news on TV or newspaper are about the serious pollutions,it seems that we are surround by the mountians of pollutions,and it seems that the environmental pollutions are too complex to handle by individual.However,as for me,I don't think so,I don't think there are much too complex enviromental problems and as one individual ,we are also can cope with the problems that around us easily and efficiently.
Modern medias are more popular than the past years,lots of medias compete on the world,and it seems that no other big news they can take on,everyday,they just put on the news of environmental pollutions,such as one industry has pollutioned one local river ,some farm areas are poisoned by the ejections of the local industries.So many negtive reports are filled in the TV,newspaper,and Internet.Sometimes they just exaggrate a small problem,but most time,their reports cause a lot of people to anxious of their life.
Therefore,I want to say is that in our life ,in most occasion,there are just some small pollutions,everyone can handle it.
we are obessed with the big problem that may not in our life,so we maybe not aware of these small issues,such as noise pollution,light pollution,and garbiage pollution.These problems are not big deals,we can easily handle them.when we find the constrution area is buliding at night and it's noise annoy us,we can just go there and stop them,if they still do that,we can take them in court.and,the garbiage pollution is easier.we can talk to somebody who throw useless things arbitrary,we talk to them our ability.Of course,we should do first as an example.
Now that the problems are not big as we think about and we all can handle them easily,why not we move up and to do something for the environment ,for ourselvers,for our descends

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michael003

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【答案】應(yīng)助回帖

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hjd8886: 金幣+30, ★★★★★最佳答案, 非常感謝啊，哈哈 2013-09-16 21:11:24

Nowadays,as the quick development of the economic(此處應(yīng)用名詞economy),there are also increasing environmetal problems.More and more news on TV or(此處加個in） newspaper are(此處應(yīng)改為is，news通常不可數(shù)） about the serious pollutions,（此處應(yīng)用一個連詞and或者直接改為兩句）it seems that we are surround (此處應(yīng)用過去分詞surrounded) by the mountians (此處應(yīng)用 a mountain )of pollutions,and it seems that the environmental pollutions are too complex to handle by individual.However,as for me,I don't think so,I don't think there are much too complex enviromental problems and as one individual ,we are also can(此處應(yīng)去掉are) cope with the problems that(此處加一個are或者去掉that) around us easily and efficiently.
Modern medias(此處應(yīng)用media，其本身就是medium的復(fù)數(shù)） are more popular than(此處應(yīng)加上those of，比較的對象要一致) the past years,lots of medias(此處應(yīng)用media，其本身就是medium的復(fù)數(shù)） compete on the world,and it seems that no other big news they can take on,everyday,they just put on the news of environmental pollutions,such as one industry has pollutioned one local river ,some farm areas are poisoned by the ejections of the local industries.So many negtive reports are filled in (此處應(yīng)用on）the TV,(此處加上in）newspaper,and(此處應(yīng)用on the） Internet.Sometimes they just exaggrate a small problem,but most time,their reports cause a lot of people to(此處加上be） anxious of their life.
Therefore,(此處加上iwhat）I want to say is that in our life ,in most occasion(此處加上s，用復(fù)數(shù)）,there are just some small pollutions,(此處加上iand）everyone can handle it(此處應(yīng)改為them）.
we are obessed with the big problem that may not (此處加上exist，缺動詞）in our life,so we maybe not (此處應(yīng)改為we may not be）aware of these small issues,such as noise pollution,light pollution,and garbiage(此處應(yīng)改為garbage，拼寫錯誤） pollution.These problems are not big deals,we can easily handle them.when we find the constrution area is buliding(此處應(yīng)改為working） at night and it's(此處應(yīng)改為its） noise annoy (此處應(yīng)改為annoys）us,we can just go there and stop them,if they still do that,we can take them in court.and,the garbiage (此處應(yīng)改為garbage，拼寫錯誤）pollution is easier(此處加上to be handled）.we can talk to somebody who throw(此處應(yīng)改為throws） useless things arbitrary(此處應(yīng)改為arbitrarily）,we talk to them our ability(這句看不明白，建議去掉）.Of course,we should do first as an example(此處應(yīng)改為we should set an example first）.
Now that the problems are not(此處加上as） big as we think about (此處應(yīng)去掉about）and we all can handle them easily,why not(此處應(yīng)改為don't） we move up (此處應(yīng)改為attempt move，意為采取行動，move up意為晉升） and to(此處應(yīng)去掉to） do something for the environment ,for ourselvers,for our descends(此處應(yīng)改為descendants，用名詞）
還有些地方，句式太過中式，不方便改。希望對你有幫助。

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