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WHQ197木蟲 (正式寫手)
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[求助]
幫忙校對小1段摘要
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為了提高海蝦的干燥質(zhì)量,利用高壓電場和真空冷凍對海參進(jìn)行了2種不同時(shí)段的聯(lián)合干燥試驗(yàn),即海蝦分別先進(jìn)行3小時(shí)和5小時(shí)的高壓電場干燥,然后再進(jìn)行真空冷凍干燥,研究結(jié)果表明,較之單純節(jié)真空冷凍干燥,聯(lián)合干燥節(jié)能效果非常明顯。 In order to improve the drying qualities of shrimps, two different combined drying process of high voltage electric field and vacuum freeze drying were studied, namely, Shrimps were dried by high voltage electric field for 3h and 5h, then, were dried by vacuum freeze drying.The results show that, the two combined process take less drying time and has lower energy consumption than vacuum freeze drying. |



榮譽(yù)版主 (知名作家)
快樂島、布吉島島主
| In order to improve the drying quality of shrimps, a high voltage electric field together with vacuum freezing were used alternatively in the drying process of shrimps. That is, shrimps were first dried under a high voltage electric field for 3 h and 5 h respectively, and then were dried by vacuum freeze drying. Our results show that it takes less time on drying and has lower energy consumption for the combined drying process than the conventional vacuum freeze drying process. |
木蟲 (小有名氣)
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我基本上重新改寫了,有些地方不能說你翻譯錯(cuò)了,只是我覺得還不夠簡單明了,希望對你有所幫助。 為了提高海蝦的干燥質(zhì)量,利用高壓電場和真空冷凍對海參進(jìn)行了2種不同時(shí)段的聯(lián)合干燥試驗(yàn),即海蝦分別先進(jìn)行3小時(shí)和5小時(shí)的高壓電場干燥,然后再進(jìn)行真空冷凍干燥,研究結(jié)果表明,較之單純節(jié)真空冷凍干燥,聯(lián)合干燥節(jié)能效果非常明顯。 In order to improve the drying quality of shrimps, we tested the shrimps by using two combined drying methods in two periods, i.e., the methods of high voltage electric field and vacuum freezing. The shrimps were first dried in a high voltage electric field for 3h and 5h, respectively, before they were dried in the vacuum freezing condition. The results show that the combined drying methods, compared with the single drying method of vacuum freezing, can save time and energy by a large margin. 1. 首先樓主的in order to的邏輯主語跟主語的主語不太一致,雖然在科技論文寫作中這一點(diǎn)有時(shí)候可以容忍,但是國外的論文中還是比較注意的。所以我換成了we,在摘要寫作中也很普遍。 2. 第一句的主語頭太重了,換成主動(dòng)結(jié)構(gòu)后,不但可以解決語法問題,也可以理順句子結(jié)構(gòu)。 3. Namely只是一個(gè)副詞,而后面跟的是一個(gè)很長的句子,連介詞都不能帶動(dòng)一個(gè)句子,namely作為一個(gè)副詞,后面絕大多數(shù)情況下只能夠跟名詞結(jié)構(gòu),照您的寫法語法上是有問題的,除非namely有連詞的功能。 4. “然后”這個(gè)詞,你不必非得用then,連續(xù)兩個(gè)“were dried”讀的有點(diǎn)拗口,直接用before就可以順利的解決這個(gè)問題,句子結(jié)構(gòu)也很簡單明了。 5. 最后一句看您又用less又用more,本人感覺太辛苦了,可以用一個(gè)通用的介詞結(jié)構(gòu)解決這個(gè)問題,而且這種慣用法在論文里面出現(xiàn)的話可能還會(huì)小有增色了。 [ Last edited by 220chengeng on 2012-12-6 at 11:01 ] |
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歡迎指正: Two multi-step drying processes have been tested to improve drying quality of shimps. The results showed that short time (3h or 5h) pretreatment of shrimp in high voltage electric field can achieve better drying quality as well as consume less time and energy than traditional lyphilization method. |

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再改 Two multi-step drying processes have been tested to improve drying quality of shimps. The results showed that short time (3h or 5h) pretreatment of shrimp in high voltage electric field consumed less time and energy to achieve better drying quality than traditional lyphilization method. |

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