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陸續(xù)貼出自己的考博作文練習，希望大家能討論，幫助！ 十個金幣
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05年10月中科院A卷作文： what does work mean to you? it is a just a means to make ends meet, to cover life enpenses? 我的作文： 用時近一個小時，因為是復習考博以來的第一篇作文 所以很艱難！ 完事開頭難！ what does work mean to you？ Two main kings of answers have been offered. One is couched in terms of realism. they argue that it is just a means to make ends meet, to cover life enpenses. The other, in my view correct, type fo answer is that it is a way to realize one's dream and the source of happiness. To me, a college teacher, I teach students knoeledge and gain happiness from them. 第一段，要去接孩子了，后續(xù)會上第二段，第三段。 PS 一大把年紀了還要考博，悲催啊！！！ |
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★ ★ ★
小木蟲: 金幣+0.5, 給個紅包，謝謝回帖
moxiang: 金幣+2 2012-12-18 19:54:35
小木蟲: 金幣+0.5, 給個紅包，謝謝回帖
moxiang: 金幣+2 2012-12-18 19:54:35
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今天下午比較閑，再加上我這個人比較好為人師，點評一下樓主的作文： 第一段我讀的不是很懂，我覺得樓主應該用更加流暢的常用的句式，里面有單詞應為knowledge,應該為打字手誤 第二段： when I was a colledge（單詞錯誤，college,不過一般用university,前者指學院，后者指綜合性大學） student, my teacher once （once我覺得可以去掉，中式英語的痕跡太明顯，沒必要強調曾經(jīng)）told me that there were three types of teachers: the first type of teachers who looked（這里為什么要用過去式呢，雖然是老師以前說的話，但是我覺得應該用一般現(xiàn)在時） teaching just （此處少一個as）a way to earn money were always ready to give up teaching to earn more; the second type looked (同上)teaching not only as （a way to get） a good salary, but as an enterprise to do(我覺得用run,后加it更貼切一些，do指做某事，run指經(jīng)營，運營); the third （type） of teachers（主語） , however,who looked (同上)teaching as well as arts （定語從句修飾teachers）devoted（謂語，我覺得應該用一般現(xiàn)在時） their whole life(應該用復數(shù)lives) to teaching. From then on, I never forgot to be the third type (應該加一個of)teacher. And (句首用and??)I gained not only a good salary, but and (but and???)more important(things), happiness and a meaningful life. I was so exciting(應該為excited,exciting的主語應該為物或者事) when my students understood a difficult question or even more solve（前面understood是過去式，此處也應該為過去式，兩個地方應該統(tǒng)一） it by themselves, （這個句子到這里可以點句號了，要么太長了）and I was so happy and wormful（表示看不懂，warmful?溫暖的？還是小木蟲版溫暖的？：D） when they sent me a card on the Teacher's Day! I tought（應該為taught,tought為過去分詞） them knowledge and they gave me happiness and moreover, the meaning of life. 不好意思，把樓主的作文批的體無完膚，歡迎大家拍磚~ |
4樓2012-12-18 15:31:26
2樓2012-12-17 17:40:19
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謝謝樓上的, 接著貼 第二段： when I was a colledge student, my teacher once told me that there were three types of teachers: the first type of teachers who looked teaching just a way to earn money were always ready to give up teaching to earn more; the second type looked teaching not only as a good salary, but as an enterprise to do; the third of teachers, however, who looked teaching as well as arts devoted their whole life to teaching. From then on, I never forgot to be the third type teacher. And I gained not only a good salary, but and more important, happiness and a meaningful life. I was so exciting when my students understood a difficult question or even more solve it by themselves, and I was so happy and wormful when they sent me a card on the Teacher's Day! I tought them knowledge and they gave me happiness and moreover, the meaning of life. |
3樓2012-12-18 00:54:59
5樓2012-12-18 19:45:28
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